I was told that man wasn’t meant to go further.
Later, I was told that I’m no man. That I’m exceptional.
Somehow, I knew. I had gone far before, far away from man. I began to forget them. Not just a recluse, not just some kind of vagabond. An explorer. I was drawn to incredible things, things that weren’t meant for the others.
This didn’t gladden me, however. If I was alone, it must have been because I was meant only to tolerate things, to be unfulfilled. If these uncanny things were meant for me, I wasn’t meant to do anything useful with them, to relate them to others.
Especially when I began to see things I wish I hadn’t. Things that were too much. Then I began to long for the abyss. I would soon forget man entirely.
But to do that would be to surrender mystery, awareness. No man could do that. Could I? If I had, I would have by now. And I would have no desire, much less — ability — to extend. So that’s out.
Or, maybe some other part of me has succomed to the ultimate doubt, and I’m all that’s left. Maybe I’ve divided from a once greater being. Whatever. If there’s any way to know for sure, I’m not interested in doing all the work. I’ll depart completely before I’m done with that.
I could dwell for the rest of my existence. For a long time, I wanted to. Don’t ask me why. Nothing progressive about that, only fed my ego. Funny, huh? Killing the self out of self confidense. THAT’S when you find out the shit doesn’t make sense. Keep going.
I can only move on. I was told that, too. I’ve been told alot of things that others will never hear, in alot of different places that others will never visit, by alot of creatures others will never see. Now they’re mine. For better or for worse, that’s what I am now. And, however it may turn out, I’m going to bring it back to man.
Man wasn’t meant to go further. Well, now they will.
I’m exceptional. And they’re not so bad themselves.
I’m going back to them.
And we’re going to do some pretty cool shit together.
