I love that word. I’m not even joking.
I don’t know why I don’t hear people use it more.
Oh, well, sure I do. It’s because I’ve barely remember the last time I spoke to anybody.
Because they used to look at me weird when I said it.
I wonder if they even survived.
They don’t subscribe to the term, but they seem to respect it somehow.
The term. Not God itself.
That might be asking too much of them.
I shouldn’t judge. If it’s possible to look God in the eye, I’ve done it. They haven’t. They never had the chance.
They never had a chance.
I won’t waste time preaching about belief. Strictly speaking, you don’t have to believe. You only have to respect. Belief is not something you can do materially. Belief is whatever you want. Really.
It’s all between you and God. Don’t try to impress anybody with it.
God sees that shit.
Oh, they never had a chance.
Why don’t I feel bad for them? Why do I feel like they deserved what they got?
That’s what my error is.
I realized it when I was doing it. As much as I hated them, I knew it wasn’t their fault. I could have been more understanding. We all can be more understanding.
What the hell? Who is this “we” I keep talking about? I haven’t spoken to any of them in…it feels like aeons.
-=-=-=-=-
Look, you can spout off all the testable explanations you want about beauty, about the endless grace of the universe.
And when I say endless, you can trust me.
All that cold math… it’s not fancy enough to make you see. It never could be.
You could be just like me. No, I know I’m not like you. But on a long enough timeline, the universe doesn’t care about that.
It’s looking for you. It’s trying to find you. It wants to meet you. It’s there for you.
Close your eyes. Breathe. Just let go.
I know it sounds stupid.
It’s kind of hard to get into at first. I’ll admit that.
But that’s the way, my friend.
-=-=-=-=-
I fucked up. I could have brought you with me.
Oh, it’s beautiful. It’s everything. To me, anyway. It’s the true way.
But now I’m afraid you may not be able to experience it in full.
Believe me, I wish I could explain it to you. Looking into the face of God is something I never imagined I would be able to experience. And I’m still here to tell you about it.
Oh, what a shame.
Is it my fault? I rejected you and then I found god. And when I came back to tell everybody about it, it was too late. They’d been astray for too long.
It is my fault. I could have done more.
Man, I hope it’s not too late.
I hope you can hear me.
I know you can hear me.
We never really left each other.
The universe is huge. In a way you can’t understand. If you did understand, I wouldn’t be torturing you with all this poetry.
If you did understand, you’d be like me.
And I wouldn’t wish that on anybody.
A more salvational fella than myself once said, “follow me, I’ll take you there.”
Ooh…I shoulda said that. That woulda been good.
Just drop everything and try to feel it. It’s the only thing you can do.
Sorry it’s got to end this way. But, if my word is worth anything, you can trust me.
You’ve had your own experiences. You’re a whole universe unto yourself. It’s all yours.
You’ll understand soon enough. I don’t know how long it’ll last, but it’ll be good.
It’s over now. I hope something new begins for you. And even if there’s only the smallest chance, I hope I get to see you again.
It’s big out there. The odds aren’t huge. But they weren’t huge to begin with. And here we are.
Whatever the hell “here” is, anyway.
Pardon my language.
Sorry it had to be me. But, hey. You could’ve done worse.
This is it.
Are you ready?
Try to hang on.
I see you now.
I’ll see you then.
